This article was written as a result of my personal journey toward understanding my whakapapa and my place within academia. As a newly appointed academic I utilise the four stages of Kolb’s experiential model to provide concrete examples of complex situations, reflect on their meanings, conceptualise these meanings to make sense of them and move towards locating ‘self’ as a Māori academic and researcher. I provide comment on my search for authenticity and the barriers to exploring whakapapa.